Sunday, March 29, 2009

Performance weekend


Saturday was one heck of a day.
It began with Robert earning a "1" at the state solo and ensemble festival at Okemos. An amazing amount of work for a medal - and a medal that means a heck of a lot.
Then, it was on to Saginaw Valley State University and the Michigan Color Guard Circuit state championships.

Katherine is part of the Mt. Pleasant Independent color guard.

Practices, costumes, sometimes tears, always intense.

Contests at Lowell, Lakeland, Novi ....

The first year of the intense competititon of Independent A ...

... and a sixth-place finish at the finals.
Not bad. Not bad at all. When I was a sophomore, a junior ... I was just hangin' around the newspaper office. Look where it got me.
Where will this get them?

Saturday, March 28, 2009

KBC Questions

Note : These are the questions which were answered by Harshvardhan Vinayak Nawathe to win 1 crore in KBC-1.
Now try to answer them.

Qualification Question :

Arrange the following presidents who suceeded fakhruddin Ali Ahmed in chronological order.

1. Giani Zail Singh
2. R Venkataraman
3. Sanjeeva Reddy
4. Shankar Dayal Sharma

Answer :
3. Sanjeeva Reddy
1. Giani Zail Singh
2. R Venkataraman
4. Shankar Dayal Sharma

1. Which is the largest key on a computer keyboard?
a) Enter b) Back space c) Number lock d) Space bar
Answer : d

2. If you visit the Tirupati temple which state would you be in?
a) Karnataka b) Andhra Pradesh c) Tamil Nadu d) Kerala
Answer : b

3. Who composed the bhajan "Pag ghungroo bandh Meera naachi re"?
a) Tukaram b) Surdas c) Meerabai d) Chaitanya
Answer : c

4. Which angle is formed by the hour and minute hands of a clock when it's exactly 3 o'clock?
a) 45° b) 90° c) 360° d) 180°
Answer : b

5. What name is given to the zodiac sign usually represented by a lion?
a) Cancer b) Taurus c) Leo d) Pisces
Answer : c

6. Which Asian Games gold medallist played Bheema in the TV serial 'Mahabharatha'?
a) Bhim Singh b) Praveen Kumar c) Dara Singh d) Pangal Singh
Answer : b

7. What was the first name of the wife of the last Viceroy of India?
a) Diana b) Sara c) Elizabeth d) Edwina
Answer : d

8. Which of these do not reproduce by laying eggs?
a) Whales b) Hens c) Crocodiles d) Snakes
Answer : a

9. The rivers Brahmaputra and Sutlej originate near which source in the upper Himalayas?
a) Gangothri b) Siachen c) Manasasarovar d) Yamunanatri
Answer : c

10. Who is the President of Pakistan?
a) Musharraf b) Ghulam Ishaq Khan c) Rafiq Tarar d) Farooq Ahmed Leghari
Answer : c

11. In one-day cricket how many fielders can stay outside the 15 yard circle for the first 15 overs?
a) 3 b) 4 c) 5 d) 2
Answer : d

12. Who was the world's first woman Prime Minister?
a) Indira Gandhi b) Golda Meir c) Srimavo Bandarnaike d) Margaret Thatcher
Answer : c

13. In the Mahabharatha, who was Draupadi's twin brother?
a) Parikshit b) Drupada c) Dhristadyumna d) Ikshvaku
Answer : c

14. Which Indian state has the highest percentage of Hindus?
a) Uttar Pradesh b) Madhya Pradesh c) Himachal Pradesh d) Orissa.
Answer : c

15. Who among these does the Indian Constitution permit to take part in the proceedings of Parliament?
a) Solicitor General b) Attorney General c) Cabinet Secretary d) Chief Justice
Answer : b
Source: Email

Amazing Informations

1. In the weightlessness of space a frozen pea will explode if it comes in contact with Pepsi.
2. The increased electricity used by modern appliances is causing a shift in the Earth's magnetic field. By the year 2327, the North Pole will be located in mid-Kansas, while the South Pole will be just off the coast of East Africa.
3. The idea for "tribbles" in "Star Trek" came from gerbils, since some gerbils are actually born pregnant.
4. Male rhesus monkeys often hang from tree branches by their amazing prehensile penises.
5. Johnny Plessey batted .331 for the Cleveland Spiders in 1891, even though he spent the entire season batting with a rolled-up, lacquered copy of the Toledo Post-Dispatch.
6. Smearing a small amount of dog feces on an insect bite will relieve the itching and swelling.
7. The Boeing 747 is capable of flying upside-down if it weren't for the fact that the wings would shear off when trying to roll it over.
8. The trucking company Elvis Presley worked at as a young man was owned by Frank Sinatra.
9. The only golf course on the island of Tonga has 15 holes, and there's no penalty if a monkey steals your golf ball.
10. Legislation passed during WWI making it illegal to say "gesundheit" to a sneezer was never repealed.
11. Manatees possess vocal chords which give them the ability to speak like humans, but don't do so because they have no ears with which to hear the sound.
12. SCUBA divers cannot pass gas at depths of 33 feet or below.
13. Catfish are the only animals that naturally have an ODD number of whiskers.
14. Replying more than 100 times to the same piece of spam e-mail will overwhelm the sender's system and interfere with their ability to send any more spam.
15. Polar bears can eat as many as 86 penguins in a single sitting.
16. The first McDonald's restaurant opened for business in 1952 in Edinburgh, Scotland, and featured the McHaggis sandwich.
17. The Air Force's F-117 fighter uses aerodynamics discovered during research into how bumblebees fly.
18. You can get blood from a stone, but only if contains at least 17 percent bauxite.
19. Silly Putty was "discovered" as the residue left behind after the first latex condoms were produced. It's not widely publicized for obvious reasons.
20. Approximately one-sixth of your life is spent on Wednesdays.
21. The skin needed for elbow transplants must be taken from the scrotum of a cadaver.
22. The sport of jai alai originated from a game played by Incan priests who held cats by their tails and swung at leather balls. The cats would instinctively grab at the ball with their claws, thus enabling players to catch them.
23. A cat's purr has the same romance-enhancing frequency as the voice of singer Barry White.
24. The typewriter was invented by Hungarian immigrant Qwert Yuiop, who left his "signature" on the keyboard.
25. The volume of water that the Giant Sequoia tree consumes in a 24-hour period contains enough suspended minerals to pave 17.3 feet of a 4-lane concrete freeway.
26. King Henry VIII slept with a gigantic axe.
27. Because printed materials are being replaced by CD-ROM, microfiche and the Internet, libraries that previously sank into their foundations under the weight of their books are now in danger of collapsing in extremely high winds.
28. In 1843, a Parisian street mime got stuck in his imaginary box and consequently died of starvation.
29. Touch-tone telephone keypads were originally planned to have buttons for Police and Fire Departments, but they were replaced with * and # when the project was cancelled in favor of developing the 911 system.
30. Human saliva has a boiling point three times that of regular water.
31. Calvin, of the "Calvin and Hobbes" comic strip, was patterned after President Calvin Coolidge, who had a pet tiger as a boy.
32. Watching an hour-long soap opera burns more calories than watching a three-hour baseball game.
33. Until 1978, Camel cigarettes contained minute particles of real camels.
34. You can actually sharpen the blades on a pencil sharpener by wrapping your pencils in aluminum foil before inserting them.
35. To human taste buds, Zima is virtually indistinguishable from zebra urine.
36. Seven out of every ten hockey-playing Canadians will lose a tooth during a game. For Canadians who don't play hockey, that figure drops to five out of ten.
37. A dog's naked behind leaves absolutely no bacteria when pressed against carpet.
38. A team of University of Virginia researchers released a study promoting the practice of picking one's nose, claiming that the health benefits of keeping nasal passages free from infectious blockages far outweigh the negative social connotations.
39. Among items left behind at Osama bin Laden's headquarters in Afghanistan were 27 issues of Mad Magazine. Al Qaeda members have admitted that bin Laden is reportedly an avid reader.
40. Urine from male cape water buffaloes is so flammable that some tribes use it for lantern fuel.
41. At the first World Cup championship in Uruguay, 1930, the soccer balls were actually monkey skulls wrapped in paper and leather.
42. Every Labrador retriever dreams about bananas.
43. If you put a bee in a film canister for two hours, it will go blind and leave behind its weight in honey.
44. Never hold your nose and cover your mouth when sneezing, as it can blow out your eyeballs.
45. Centuries ago, purchasing real estate often required having one or more limbs amputated in order to prevent the purchaser from running away to avoid repayment of the loan. Hence an expensive purchase was said to cost "an arm and a leg."
46. When Mahatma Gandhi died, an autopsy revealed five gold Krugerrands in his small intestine.
47. Aardvarks are allergic to radishes, but only during summer months.
48. Coca-Cola was the favored drink of Pharaoh Ramses. An inscription found in his tomb, when translated, was found to be almost identical to the recipe used today.
49. If you part your hair on the right side, you were born to be carnivorous. If you part it on the left, your physical and psychological make-up is that of a vegetarian.
50. When immersed in liquid, a dead sparrow will make a sound like a crying baby.
51. In WWII the US military planned to airdrop over France propaganda in the form of Playboy magazine, with coded messages hidden in the models' turn-ons and turn-offs. The plan was scrapped because of a staple shortage due to rationing of metal.
52. Although difficult, it's possible to start a fire by rapidly rubbing together two Cool Ranch Doritos.
53. Napoleon's favorite type of wood was knotty chestnut.
54. The world's smartest pig, owned by a mathematics teacher in Madison, WI, memorized the multiplication tables up to twelve.
55. Due to the natural "momentum" of the ocean, saltwater fish cannot swim backwards.
56. In ancient Greece, children of wealthy families were dipped in olive oil at birth to keep them hairless throughout their lives.
57. It is nearly three miles farther to fly from Amarillo, Texas to Louisville, Kentucky than it is to return from Louisville to Amarillo.
58. The "nine lives" attributed to cats is probably due to their having nine primary whiskers.
59. The original inspiration for Barbie dolls comes from dolls developed by German propagandists in the late 1930s to impress young girls with the ideal notions of Aryan features. The proportions for Barbie were actually based on those of Eva Braun.
60. The Venezuelan brown bat can detect and dodge individual raindrops in mid-flight, arriving safely back at his cave completely dry.
Source: kb-s

Friday, March 27, 2009

New window at S. Mark's


S. Mark's Episcopal Church in Arlington Texas recently installed it's new rose window in the sanctuary.


Brain Spa

Brain anatomy. 16th century diagram of the anatomy of the human brain and the nerves associated with the senses of hearing, taste, sight and smell. The diagram, which is labeled in Latin, is from Magnus Hundt's Antropologium (Leipzig, 1501).

Have you been multitasking so much you feel you are losing your power of concentration? Treat yourself to a brain spa and sit in on a lecture from a great university. You don't need to take notes or prep for any exams, just find a seat, absorb the knowledge and stimulate your brain.

This week two new services, Academic Earth and YouTube EDU, have been launched to make your access to university classes even easier. There are no registration lines, no need to audit, no early classes, and no tuition fees. Try it and rejuvenate your brain!

Image courtesy of Sheila Terry / Science Photo Library

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Pictures from the day

Some interesting cloud formations loomed over Arlington, TX this afternoon.







Brickwork nears completion on the Marsee memorial garden at St Alban's.

Clouds shroud the tops of buildings in the Dallas skyline this afternoon.

The most curious traffic sign I've ever seen.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Numbers and Your Age

Just try this:

"13837 x Your Age x 73 = ?"

You will be getting an interesting result..

Facts about our Body

*Our heart beats around 100,000 times every day.
*Our blood is on a 60,000-mile journey.
*Our eyes can distinguish up to one million color surfaces and take in more information than the largest telescope known to man.
*Our lungs inhale over two million liters of air every day, without even thinking. They are large enough to cover a tennis court.
*Our hearing is so sensitive it can distinguish between hundreds of thousands of different sounds.
*Our sense of touch is more refined than any device ever created.
*Our brain is more complex than the most powerful computer and has over 100 billion nerve cells.
*We give birth to 100 billion red cells every day.
*When we touch something, we send a message to our brain at 124 mph.
*We have over 600 muscles.
*We exercise at least 30 muscles when we smile.
*We are about 70 percent water.
*We make one liter of saliva a day.
*Our nose is our personal air-conditioning system: it warms cold air, cools hot air and filters impurities.
*In one square inch of our hand we have nine feet of blood vessels, 600 pain sensors, 9000 nerve endings, 36 heat sensors and 75 pressure sensors.
Source: kb-s

Know these Facts

01. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
02. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.
03. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years.
04. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.
05. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!
06. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.
07. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.
08. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.
09. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.
10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.
11. The average housefly lives for one month.
12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.
13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.
14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.
15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day.
16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.
17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.
18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves without turning their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.
19.John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie."
20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.
21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.
22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same Airplane, just in case there is a crash.
23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.
24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are used in vein transplant surgery.
25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.
26. Coca-Cola was originally green.
27. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
28. The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.
29. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
30. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
31. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
32. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
33. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
34. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
35. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.
36. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
3712. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
38. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
39. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history. Spades - King David Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts - Charlemagne Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
40. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321.
Source:kb-s

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Cinderella at the Rotary Dinner

Doesn't she look like Cinderella? The scullery maiden? Actually, Katherine volunteered to work at the annual Mt. Pleasant Rotary Club's beef dinner. The club is supporting winter guard - where Katherine is a member - and the Mt. Pleasant High School Choir, where Katherine is a member. The Rotarians are helping to send the choir to New York next month, where they will be performing at Carnegie Hall.

The dinner - roast beef, stuffing, green beans, creamy mashed potatoes and gravy - was fabulous. And doesn't Katherine look lovely in her plastic apron, doing honest work? It is, after all, all for the arts.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

CMU's Powwow

I had the opportunity to attend Central Michigan University's 20th annual Powwow today. It's gotten big enough that it's moved into Rose Arena from Finch Fieldhouse.

As always, the grand entrance is spectacular. It attracts dancers from all over the United States and Canada.

It's a different sense from the Saginaw Chippewas' summer powwow. That's more like a fair and a family reunion. At this one, I get a sense of competition from some very serious dancers, as well as a sense of the importance of keeping the traditions alive.


And if a tradition isn't passed along to the next generation, what does it matter?



Check out the video I put together for TheMorningSun.com.

Photo Cube - DIY with Paper

Photo cubes for Mother's Day by Perri Lewis. Photograph by Natalie Naccache/Guardian

Perhaps spring is inspiring you to get crafty. With 6 photos, card stock, scissors, a ruler and glue, you can whip up a little 3-d gift and practice your geometry skills, too! I'm sharing this from Perry Lewis at the Guardian. She tells it best:

Like any handmade present, it can be personalised and it shows you've done more than dropped into Tesco on your way to visit. What's more, it might bring back floods of happy memories of all the wonderfully rubbish stuff you made for her from egg cartons, washing-up liquid bottles and crepe paper as a nipper.

If you're not going to see your mum on Sunday, don't worry. Make a small photo cube and send it, unfolded, with instructions on how to assemble it.

Photo cube

What you need

A piece of thin card
Pencil
Ruler
Craft knife or scissors
Six photos
Spray mount or a glue stick
Double-sided tape
Sticky back plastic (optional)

What to do

1. Draw a cube net on to a piece of thin card, or download one of these ready-made ones (pdf) and print it out.

2. Cut the cube net out: a craft knife and ruler will give you the cleanest cut, but you can use scissors if you don't have one to hand. Score each line carefully.

3. Choose six pictures for your photo cube. As each photo needs to be the same size as the face of your cube net, you need to either a) use photo editing software to make each picture the same size, then print them out, or b) print the photos out first, then cut them to size.

4. Glue one photo to each face of the cube net, on the side without the black lines. I thoroughly recommend that you use spray mount for this rather than a glue stick - you will get a better, more even coverage with no little lumps, so your pictures will have a smooth finish. A can costs about £7, but it lasts for ages and can be used for all sorts of paper craft. Of course, if you don't have any spray mount, use a glue stick or double-sided tape.

5. This step is entirely optional, but if you want make your photo cube a little more study, cover the whole cube net in sticky back plastic.

6. Add strips of double-sided tape to the tabs and assemble the cube. Again, I prefer not to use a glue stick – double-sided tape is far less messy - but use whatever suitable adhesive you have to hand.

Thank you Perry and a very Happy Day to all Mothers in the U.K. and other places celebrating Mother's Day this weekend.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Keep Calm & Consider Alternatives


If the original Keep Calm and Carry On message doesn't suit you, here are but a few alternatives to consider:













For more info on any Keep Calm and Carry On parody featured above, just click on the image. See the previous blog entry for the story of the design sensation and original WWII poster saved from obscurity.

Mr.ABC's Press Conference

Mr.ABC sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA.

A few days later he got this reply:

Dear Mr.ABC,
You do not meet our requirements.
Please Do Not Send any further correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.

Thanks
Bill Gates.


Mr.ABC jumped with joy on receiving this reply.

He arranged a press conference

"Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko
Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai."

Everyone was delighted.

Mr.ABC continued......

"Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ?
par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.

Dear Mr.ABC ----- Pyare 'ABC' bhaiyya

You do not meet ----- aap to miltay hee naheen ho

our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai

Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- ab Letter vetter bhejne ka
kaouno zaroorat nahee.

No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai

shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.

Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.

Bill Gates. ---- Tohar Bilva.
Email.

Drink Water on Empty Stomach

It is popular in Japan today to drink water immediately after waking up every morning. Furthermore, scientific tests have proven a its value. We Publish below a description of use of water for our readers. For old and serious diseases as well as modern illnesses the water treatment had been found successful by a Japanese medical society as a 100% cure for the following diseases:
Headache, body ache, heart system, arthritis, fast heart beat, epilepsy, excess fatness, bronchitis asthma, TB, meningitis, kidney and urine diseases, vomiting, gastritis, diarrhea, piles, diabetes, constipation, all eye diseases, womb, cancer and menstrual disorders, ear nose and throat diseases.


METHOD OF TREATMENT
1.. As you wake up in the morning before brushing teeth, drink 4 x 160ml glasses of water
2.. Brush and clean the mouth but do not eat or drink anything for 45 minute.
3.. After 45 minutes you may eat and drink as normal.
4.. After 15 minutes of breakfast, lunch and dinner do not eat or drink anything for 2 hours.
5.. Those who are old or sick and are unable to drink 4 glasses of water at the beginning may commence by taking little water and gradually increase it to 4 glasses per day.
6.. The above method of treatment will cure diseases of the sick and others can enjoy a healthy life.

The following list gives the number of days of treatment required to cure/control/ reduce main diseases:
1.. High Blood Pressure - 30 days
2.. Gastric - 10 days
3.. Diabetes - 30 days
4.. Constipation - 10 days
5.. Cancer - 180 days
6.. TB - 90 days
7.. Arthritis patients should follow the above treatment only for 3 days in the 1st week, and from 2nd week onwards - daily.

This treatment method has no side effects, however at the commencement of treatment you may have to urinate a few times.

It is better if we continue this and make this procedure as a routine work in our life.
Drink Water and Stay healthy and Active.

This makes sense .. The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals ....not cold water. Maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating!!! Nothing to lose, everything to gain...

For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you.

It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion.

Once this "sludge" reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

A serious note about heart attacks: Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting.

Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line.

You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack.

Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms.

60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up.

Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive.
The above information is received by Email.

World Trade Centre Trick

Did you know that the flight number of the plane that had hit "World Trade Centre" on 09/11.

The Flight Number of the Plane was "Q33N" .

Open your Notepad in Your Computer and Type the Flight Number i.e., Q33N.

Increase the Font Size to 72,

Change the Font to Wingdings.

You will be Amazed by the Findings.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Keep Calm & Carry On

Keep calm and carry on is a great message and a very timely one for us at this exact point in history. It's also a great poster design. The baronial graphic of the crown and the clear Gill font in caps further expresses the simple focus of the message. Well, sure, we can be optimistic with such a thoughtful and charming mantra and a pleasing graphic design to view. I'm feeling better about the world already.

The timelessness of the message and the beautiful simplicity of the graphic elements do not reveal the artist who designed the poster. Now available throughout Great Britain on t-shirts, tote bags, tea towels and door mats, to name just a few, what little is known about it is that it was created as part of a British Ministry of Information propaganda campaign in August of 1939 to alleviate fear of a possible German invasion.

A series of three posters were created under the crown of King George VI, yet only the first two were widely released, appearing on billboards, train stations and shops throughout England. The third design, Keep Calm, was held in reserve, and, thankfully, never needed for its intended use.

Somehow, somewhere, a copy of the unused poster was saved for about 60 years. It resurfaced in a box of old books purchased at auction in 2000 by booksellers Stuart and Mary Manley of Barter Books in Northumberland. They hung the poster in their shop and started to research its origins. Frequent requests to purchase it led them to reproduce the poster and offer it for sale. Some 40,000 copies have been sold through them.

In spite of its wartime origins, the message of resilience is welcome. The archives of British history and design gained a document almost unknown and the rest of us gain the benefits.

Special thanks to Jon Henley for his article Keep Calm and Carry On in the Guardian on March 18, 2009 and Mary Manley's blog entry on March 4, 2009.

Some facts to make every INDIAN proud

Q. Who is the GM of Hewlett Packard (hp) ?
A. Rajiv Gupta

Q. Who is the creator of Pentium chip (needs no introduction as 90% of the today's computers run on it)?
A. Vinod Dahm

Q. Who is the third richest man on the world?
A. According to the latest report on Fortune Magazine, it is Azim Premji, who is the CEO of Wipro Industries. The Sultan of Brunei is at 6 th position now.

Q. Who is the founder and creator of Hotmail (Hotmail is world's No.1 web based email program)?
A. Sabeer Bhatia

Q. Who is the president of AT & T-Bell Labs (AT & T-Bell Labs is the creator of program languages such as C, C++, Unix to name a few)?
A. Arun Netravalli

Q. Who is the new MTD (Microsoft Testing Director) of Windows 2000, responsible to iron out all initial problems?
A. Sanjay Tejwrika

Q. Who are the Chief Executives of CitiBank, Mckensey & Stanchart?
A. Victor Menezes, Rajat Gupta, and Rana Talwar.


We Indians are the wealthiest among all ethnic groups in America , even faring better than the whites and the natives.
There are 3.22 millions of Indians in USA (1.5% of population). YET,
38% of doctors in USA are Indians.
12% scientists in USA are Indians.
36% of NASA scientists are Indians.
34% of Microsoft employees are Indians.
28% of IBM employees are Indians.
17% of INTEL scientists are Indians.
13% of XEROX employees are! Indians.


Some of the following facts may be known to you. These facts was published in a German magazine, which deals with WORLD HISTORY FACTS ABOUT INDIA .

1. India never invaded any country in her last 1000 years of history.

2. India invented the Number system. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.

3. The world's first University was established in Takshila in 700BC. More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4 th century BC was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education.

4. According to the Forbes magazine, Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software.

5. Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans.

6. Although western media portray modern images of India as poverty striken and underdeveloped through political corruption, India was once the richest empire on earth.

7. The art of navigation was born in the river Sindh 5000 years ago. The very word 'Navigation' is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH.

8. The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is now k! nown as the Pythagorean Theorem. British scholars have last year (1999) officially published that Budhayan's works dates to the 6 th Century which is long before the European mathematicians.

9. Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India . Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya in the 11 th Century; the largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 whereas Indians used numbers as big as 10 53.

10. According to the Gemmological Institute of America, up until 1896, India was the only source of diamonds to the world.

11. USA based IEEE has proved what has been a century-old suspicion amongst academics that the pioneer of wireless communication was Professor Jagdeesh Bose and not Marconi.

12. The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra.

13. Chess was invented in India .

14. Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted surgeries like cesareans, cataract, fractures and urinary stones. Usage of anaesthesia was well known in ancient India .

15. When many cultures in the world were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley ( Indus Valley Civilisation).

16. The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC.


Quotes about India .

We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made.
---Albert Einstein.

India is the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend and the great grand mother of tradition.
---Mark Twain.

If there is one place on the face of earth where all dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of existence, it is India .
---French scholar Romain Rolland.

India conquered and dominated China culturally for 20 centuries without ever having to send a single soldier across her border.
---Hu Shih(former Chinese ambassador to USA )


ALL OF THE ABOVE IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG, THE LIST COULD BE ENDLESS.
BUT, if we don't see even a glimpse of that great India in the India that we see today, it clearly means that we are not working up to our potential; and that if we do, we could once again be an evershining and inspiring country setting a bright path for rest of the world to follow.
I hope you enjoyed it and work towards the welfare of INDIA .

Say proudly, I AM AN INDIAN.
Source - Email

Monday, March 16, 2009

GK Test

Here are Eleven Questions, let's see how many You can Answer!

Questions:

01. What do you put in a toaster?

02. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk". What do cows drink?

03. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?

04. Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors - East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?

05. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60th of a degree every minute then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?

06. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, Two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmarthen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver and what is his age?

07. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

08. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

09. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and grey when you throw it away?

10. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?

11. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! But it is highly unusual, though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!

Answers:

01.The answer is bread. If you said "toast", then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread", go to question two.

02.Cows drink water. If you said "milk", please do not attempt the next question. . If you said "water" then proceed to question three.

03.Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "glass", then go on to question four.

04. You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said, "Don't bury the survivors" then proceed to the next question.

05.One degree. If you said "360 degrees" or anything other than ?one degree?, you are to be congratulated on getting this far.

06.Oh, for heaven sake! It was YOU and your age. Read the first line again.

07. The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead. That one was easy, right?

08. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.

09. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.

10. Sure you can name three consecutive days: yesterday, today, and tomorrow!

11. The letter 'e', the most common in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.
kb-s

Seventh Anniversary

Image hosting by Photobucket Image hosting by Photobucket
Today marks my seventh anniversary of being ordained a deacon back in 2002 at Our Lady of the Lake Episcopal Church in Laguna Park, TX.

Commenting on the harmony of the various orders in the Church, St Ignatius of Antioch once wrote: "Let the faithful take care to do all things in harmony with God, with the bishop presiding in the place of God and with the priests in the place of the Council of the Apostles, and with the deacons, who are most dear to me, entrusted with the business of Jesus Christ who was with the Father from the beginning and is at last made manifest."

Friday, March 13, 2009

Frugalista


frugalista (froog'gal-ees-ta) n. "person who leads a frugal lifestyle, but stays fashionable and healthy by swapping clothes, buying second-hand, growing own produce, etc."

It may not have made the New Oxford American Dictionary's 2008 Word of the Year, but it is a deserving strong finalist. As we face the hard facts of the surround-sound economic crisis crumbling around us – frugalista appears to be a word with staying power. It is a power we’ll need to use as we tighten the belt once again, dust off the sewing machine and serve up dinner of rice and beans for hungry family and friends.

I'm not sure of the protocol regarding new words if they don't yet appear in a dictionary. But it’s such a good word I’m excited to add it to my vocabulary. I would also like to expand its definition. After all, it is such a recent addition to our language certainly the word is still evolving and malleable.

There are plenty of us all over the globe who have learned the art of stretching the wampum, by necessity and practicality. We (hereafter known as frugalistas) know how to make do, quite stylishly, with less. We are not only managing and discovering new ways to do it better, we are also eco-conscious in our choices. From time to time, we might even be a little eco-chic. We reduce, recycle and reuse to the limits of our imaginations.

Special thanks to William Safire for his article On Language - Frugalista in the New York Times Magazine, November 23, 2008 and Natalie McNeal for her blog, The Frugalista Files.

Good looking and sturdy market and tote bags made of earth-friendly materials each sell for under $1.50.

Sardar Jokes

Sardarji went to US to live with his brother.
Sardarji’s Brother owns an apple shop in US.
One day he asked his brother to stay at the shop because he had to go somewhere.
He asked his brother if somebody comes to shop and ask for the apple’s price, tell them $2 a Pound.
If somebody questions whether these apples are sweet or sour, tell them some are sweet and
some are not.
If some body says I do not want to buy, tell them somebody else will buy.
Now the sardarji was ready to sell the apples.
A lady comes and asks sardarji, Do you know what time it is ?
Sardarji replied $2 a pound.
Lady said; all sardarji’s are idiot and fools.
Sardarji replied, some are, some are not. Lady got frustrated and said, I will take you to
police station.
Sardarji replied, if you will not take me some body else will take..
***
Santa : I am a Proud Man, My son is in Medical College.
Banta : Really, what is he studying?
Santa : No he is not studying, they are Studying him.
***
SARDARJI IS BUYING A TV.
“DO YOU HAVE COLOR TVS ?”
SURE.GIVE ME A GREEN ONE, PLEASE.
***
A Sardaarji and his son went to attend a marriage reception.
Sardaarji was a miserly person and used to make ‘paisa wasool’ during such occasions by eating as much food as possible. He told his son also to eat maximum possible food to make ‘paisa wasool’.They sat down side by side to have food. The feast started. Sardaarji started tucking in as much as possible. Then he noticed his son frequently drinking water while taking food. Sardaar nudged him with his elbow, stared at him and whispered not to drink water.
But his beta (puttr) continued to drink water occasionally while taking food. Sardaar was very angry. But he restrained himself because others might watch.After the reception they reached home. Sardaar called his son and slapped him hard and told “Saala, kitna baar bola, khaney ke saath paani math piya karo. Pet paani se bhar gaya to khaana kounsa pet mein jaayega, saala?’Puttr told “Papaji, beech mein paani peene se jyaada khaana khaa saktey hai”.“Woh kaisey, bewakoof”? asked papaji.Puttr then brought a one-foot tall measuring vessel and filled it with sand. When the vessel was full of sand, he poured some water into the sand. The sand settled down and the vessel had some more space in it. He again filled the vessel with sand, poured water, sand settled and the vessel had some more space. He repeated this four times. Then told “Dekho Papaji, khaana ke saath paani peeyega to aisa hota hai. Shaadi mein aap se jyaada khaana mai khaaya hoga”.Sardaar slapped puttr hard again, this time twice.Puttr asked “Ab kyon maar rahe ho”?“Saala, yeh idea udhar kyum nahi bataya mujhe” Asked the Sardaar.
***
SARDAR : I HAV’NT SLEPT ALL NITE IN THE TRAIN.
FRIEND : WHY?
SARDAR : GOT UPPER BERTH.
FRIEND : WHY DIDN’T YOU EXCHANGED?
SARDAR : OYE, THERE WAS NOBODY TO EXCHANGE IN THE LOWER BERTH.
***
SARDAR TELLS A GIRL ‘COME TO MY HOUSE AT NIGHT, NOBODY WILL BE THERE’.
GIRL GOES AT NIGHT AND REALLY NOBODY WAS THERE..
***
Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with
red spots!
Sardar ji: Yes it’s really strange.I’ve got another pair of the same at home.
***
Sardar Jokes

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Auditors may get powers to refuse to sign Accounts

Auditors may get powers to refuse signing a Company’s accounts if these are not found to be in order. A special group constituted by the Institute of Chartered Accountants of India (ICAI), the statutory body regulating the profession in India, is veering round to the view that the institute should push for statutory backing to such a move.

Company balance sheets could soon acquire a new look, with the government asking ICAI to suggest ways to strengthen reporting norms following Satyam Computer Services founder Ramalinga Raju’s shock confession to long-term financial fraud on January 7. ICAI sources said the mandate from the government was to ensure that company managements did not use notes to accounts as a cover-up for misdemeanours.

The special group will finalise the recommendations over the next few weeks and submit its report to the ministry of corporate affairs (MCA).

Currently, auditors may only qualify accounts if managements are unwilling to accept the discrepancies they point out. “If the law mandates that the management has to incorporate the effects of the qualifications, the situation will be completely different. This will also help us penalise auditors for lapses,” said an ICAI source privy to the discussions.

An auditor, who was not an ICAI office-bearer, said managements typically pushed auditors to be removed if they made strong qualifications to the accounts. Firms or their directors also often approach the ICAI’s disciplinary committee, seeking action against an auditor who has taken a tough stance on grounds the firm was being targeted or blackmailed, he added.

An MCA official involved with the process said the government would go by ICAI’s recommendations.

The ministry was also pushing for better coordination with regulatory agencies, such as the Securities and Exchange Board of India, to improve disclosures and reporting.

“Over the next few months you will see steps such as those initiated by the US after the Enron and Worldcom controversies,” another MCA official said.

Sebi has already announced its decision to opt for peer review and had asked company promoters to disclose details of pledged shares.

In addition, Sebi and its committees were discussing the role of independent directors. It has also talked of the fact that clause 49 of the listing agreement did not specify the role and responsibilities of these board members. The market regulator could step in with stiffer guidelines on these issues.
icai.org

Some Health Tips

Answer the phone by LEFT ear

Do not drink coffee TWICE a day

Do not take pills with COOL water

Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm

Reduce the amount of OILY food you consume

Drink more WATER in the morning, less at night

Keep your distance from hand phone CHARGERS

Do not use headphones/earphone for LONG period of time

Best sleeping time is from 10pm at night to 6am in the morning

Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before sleeping

When battery is down to the LAST grid/bar, do not answer the phone as the radiation is 1000 times.
-Email

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Highlights of Interim Budget 2009-10

The Finance Minister Pranab Mukherjee presented the interim Budget for 2009-10 in LokSabha.

Following are the highlights of the Budget:

--- In the first four years of UPA government, the economy has shown a dream run with growth rates booming throughout the tenure.

--- Sustained growth of 9 per cent was witnessed in the last three years, said Mukherjee.

--- The per capita income also registered the fastest growth rate during the last four years.

--- The fiscal deficit dropped to 2.7 per cent, while the revenue deficit grew. The investment rate grew to 39 per cent and gross domestic savings rate showed great improvement from 29.8 per cent in 2003-04 to 37.7 per cent per cent in 2007-08. The tax to GDP ratio rose from 9.2 per cent 2003-04 to 4.5 per cent 2007-08, said Mukherjee.

--- UPA was focussed on delivering 7 per cent plus growth throughout its tenure.

--- This is United Progressive Alliance's sixth Budget.

--- The annual rate of growth in agriculture was 3.7 per cent. Foodgrain production increased by 10 million tonnes each year to all time high of 230 million tonnes in 2007-08.

--- Foreign trade rose from 23.7 per cent of GDP to 35.5 per cent of GDP in 2007-08.

--- Industrial production fell by 2 per cent in 2008 on a year to year basis.

--- World economy, according to forecasts, will fare worse in 2009 than in 2008, says Mukherjee.

--- Inflation rate fell to 4.4 per cent on Janaury 31, 2009

--- India is second fastest growing economy in the world with 7.1 per cent GDP expansion in 2008-09, says Mukherjee.

--- Export growth rate in first nine months of 2008-09 touched 17.1 per cent. Industrial production fell by 2 per cent in December, says Mukherjee.

--- The India Infrastructure Finance Company will raise Rs 10,000 crore (Rs 100 billion) from market by end of March 2009.

--- As many as 50 infrastructure projects worth Rs 67,700 crore (Rs 677 billion) were given in- principle or final approval.

--- The India Infrastructure Finance Company will raise Rs 30,000 crore (Rs 300 billion) from market in next fiscal year.

--- Need for accelerating pace of policy reforms, particularly in financial sector, says Mukherjee.

--- The FDI inflow between April-Nov 2008 was $23.3 billion, a growth of 45 per cent compared with that during the same period in 2007.

--- The government has relaxed the Fiscal Responsibility Budget Management (FRBM) targets to counter global economic slowdown.

--- Plan allocation 300 per cent increased for agriculture.

--- Rural infrastructure development scheme to be expanded through suitable allocations.

--- 60.4 lakh (6.04 million) houses constructed under Indira Awas Yojana during the year, says Mukherjee.

--- Minimum support price for wheat increased from Rs 630 to Rs 1,080 per qunital.

--- The government will continue interest subvention scheme for farmers for loans up to Rs 3 lakh (Rs 300,000).

--- Rs 65,300 crore (Rs 653 billion) in loans waived for farmers during 2008-09. It benefitted 3.6 crore (Rs 36 million) households, says Mukherjee.

--- Agriculture credit has been increased by three fold to Rs 250,000 crore (Rs 2,500 billion). Six new IITs started functioning in 2008-09. Two more IITs in Madhya Pradesh and Rajasthan will start functioning in 2009-10.

--- Six new IITs started functioning in 2008-09. Two more IITs in Madhya Pradesh and Rajasthan will start functioning in 2009-10.

--- Student loans increased from Rs 4,500 crore on March 31, 2004 to Rs 24,260 crore (Rs.242.60 billion) as on September 30, 2008.

--- Turnover of public sector companies has increased from Rs 587,000 crore (Rs 5,870 billion) in 2003-04 to Rs 10,87,000 crore (Rs 10,870 billion) in 2007-08, says Mukherjee.

--- Non-performing assets of public sector banks have fallen from 7.8 per cent in 2007 to 2.3 per cent in March 2008.

--- Rs 632 crore (Rs 6.32 billion) provided for recaptalisation of Regional Rural Banks.

--- Fertiliser subsidy increased by Rs 44,863 crore (Rs 448.63 billion) from about Rs 14,000 crore (Rs 140 billion) during 2008-09.

--- Central plan expenditure increased from Rs 2,43,386 crore (Rs 2,433.86 billion) to Rs.2,82,957 crore (Rs 2,829.57 billion).

--- Revised budget estimates for 2008-09 increased to Rs 909,053 crore (Rs 9,090.53 billion) from Rs 750,884 crore (Rs 7,508.84 billion).

--- Revised fiscal defict esimated at 6 per cent of GDP as against 2.5 per cent in the Budget estimate.

--- Revised revenue deficit placed at 4.4 per cent as against 1 per cent in the Budget estimate for 2008-09.

--- Rs 40,000 crore (Rs 400 billion) relief extended through tax cuts to counter economic slowdown.

--- Fiscal deficit has gone up from Rs 133,287 crore (Rs 1,332.87 billion) in the budget estimates to Rs 326,515 crore (Rs 3,265.15 billion) in the revised estimates for 2008-09, says Mukherjee.

--- Integrated Child Development Scheme gets Rs 6,705 crore (Rs 67.05 billion) in 2009-10.

--- Allocation for Sarva Shiksha Abhiyan programme increased to Rs 13,100 crore (Rs 131 billion).

--- Flagship NREGA scheme gets Rs 30,100 crore (Rs 301 billion) in 2009-10, says Mukherjee.

--- Budgetary support increased for Ministries of Rural Development, Road Transport & Highway, Power, Railways, Industrial Policy & Promotion and IT.

--- Budget estimate for expenditure for 2009-10 put at Rs 953,231 crore (Rs 9,532.31 billion). This includes Rs 285,145 crore (Rs 2,851.45 billion) for plan expenditure while non-plan spend put at Rs 668,883 crore (Rs 6,688.83 billion).

--- Allocation for JNNURM programme raised to Rs 11,842 crore (Rs 118.42 billion).

--- Bharat Nirman programme gets Rs 40,900 crore (Rs 409 billion) in 2009-10.

--- Revenue deficit seen at 4 per cent, fiscal deficit at 5.5 per cent of GDP in 2009-10.

--- Increase in the allocation of defence expenditure to Rs 1,41,703 crore (Rs 1,417.03 billion)in 2009-10.

--- Plan expenditure in 2009-10 may have to be increased substantially at the time of presentation of overall budget if we have to give economy the stimulus it needs, says Mukherjee.

--- Allocation for Unique Identification (UID) programme has been pegged at Rs 100 crore (Rs. 1 billion).

--- No Change in Tax rates (Direct & Indirect)

Highlights of Interim Railway Budget 2009-10

Review of Financial Performance during the year 2008-09

# Freight loading target retained at 850 mt; number of passengers likely to grow by around 7% over previous year.

# Implementation of recommendations of VI Central Pay Commission (CPC) likely to cost the Railways Rs 9,000 cr more on staff costs and Rs 4,500 cr more on pensionary charges as compared with previous year.

# Hence, Ordinary Working Expenses (OWE) increased to Rs 55,000 cr in the R.E and the appropriation to Pension Fund to Rs 10,500 cr.

# Appropriation to DRF retained at Rs 7,000 cr.

# Dividend payable to General Revenues kept at Rs 4,711 cr.

# Cash surplus before dividend projected at Rs 19,320 cr and the Operating Ratio at 88.3% despite implementation of the VI CPC.

# Revised plan outlay kept at Rs 36,773 cr.

Performance Review

# The number of consequential accidents came down to 194 in 2007-08.

# Agartala, the capital of the Tripura, connected by railway line. First train service in Kashmir valley commenced between Anantnag and Rajwansher. To be followed by Baramulla and Qazigund.

# Successful trials completed for running electric locomotives with OHE at a height of about 7.5 mts in preparation for running double stack containers on electrified Western Dedicated Freight Corridor.

# Work on Eastern Dedicated Freight Corridor commenced near Dehri-onSon on 10th February,2009. Work on Western DFC to commence this month.

Budget Estimates 2009-10

# Freight loading targeted at 910 mt an increment of 60 mt on 2008-09; number of passengers likely to grow by around 7%.

# Gross Traffic Receipts estimated at Rs 93,159 cr i.e. Rs 10,766 cr more than RE 2008-09.

# Ordinary Working Expenses budgeted at Rs 62,900 cr to cover the full year impact of VI CPC and the payment of 60% arrears due in 2009-10.

# Dividend payable to General Revenues kept at Rs 5,304 cr at the current applicable rates.

# Budgeted Operating Ratio 89.9%.

# Plan outlay kept at Rs 37,905 cr.

Passenger Services

# 43 new train services to be started in 2009-10, extension of 14 trains envisaged and frequency of 14 trains to be increased.

Others

# With a view to facilitate improved train operations, it has been decided to set up two new railway divisions at Bhagalpur and Thawe.

# 25 surveys proposed comprising 14 for new lines, 3 for gauge conversion and 28 for doubling projects.

# Pre-feasibility study for running high speed bullet trains being pursued.

# Construction of Rail Wheel Factory, Chapra on in full swing; Work on diesel and electric locomotive factories at Marhoura and Madhepura targeted for early start.

# Bharat Wagon Limited, Mokama & Muzaffarpur transferred to Ministry of Railways; transfer of wagon units of Burn Standard at Burnpur and Howrah also under consideration on the same lines.

Reduction in Tariffs

# Reduction in passenger fares of ordinary passenger trains by one rupee for fares costing up to Rupees fifty per passenger for journey above ten kms.

# Second class and sleeper class fares of all Mail/Express and ordinary passenger trains to be reduced by 2 per cent for tickets costing Rupees fifty and more per passenger.

# Fares of AC First Class, AC II tier, AC III tier and AC Chair Car also to be reduced by two percent.

Sardar Jokes- Hindi

*Ek sardar exame dene gaya to apnay saath palumber ko saath le kar gaya.
guess karo kyun le kar gaya?
Aray yaar simple hai us ko yeh news mili thi k paper leage ho gaya. ha ha ha ha ha ha.

*Aik Sardar Apnae Marriage Certificate ku 1 hour sae Dekh raha tha.
Begam Ai Booli, Tusi inni Dair Say Kia Dekh Rahe Hu?
Sardar Bola, Expiry Date Dekh raha hoon……

*SARDARNE 2 SARDR SARDAR G MAIN NE AJ PANE KO BEWAKOOF BANAYA SARDAR.WO KAISAY SARDARNE.
MAIN NE PANE GARAM KYA PER THANDAY SE NAHA LYA HA HA HA

*interviewee;
wat z ur date of birth?
sardar;nov 28.
interviewer;which year?
sardar;abey ullu everyyear.

*sardarji (raste se jate samay friend se ek chig dekhake):
are yar main ese kahi dekha hain
second sardarji:han main bhi ese kahi dekha hain
first sardarji(use sungh kar ):are yar yad aaraha hain.
second sardarji:ha muse bhi yad aa raha hain.
first saradarji:test leta hain aur kahata hain are yar yah
to gobar hain
huaa main es per pair nahi diya.

*a girl in a wedding ceremony want 2 go 2 da toilet. she asked a sardar, sardarji su su kernay ki jaga dikhao.
sardar replied u naughty girl pehlay tum dikhao.

*Someone new to sardarji ask him: Tumhara naam kya hai??
Sardar reply: muzhe tumhara naam kaise pata hoga??

*2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sardar1: Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case.
Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!

*Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar , where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend.
He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn’t reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him ” Arre Puttar, ki hoya?”
The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, “Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?”

*Sardar when I sleeps, monkey play football in my dreams,
Dr. No Problem take this medicine b4 sleep,
Sardar kaal se longa, ajj raat final hay

*Chota sardar:mummy kal raat ko,phir maine bathroom ka darvaja khola toh light apne aap jal gaye.
Mummy:kaminey phir tune fridge main susu ki!

*Sardar going with his sister, Some shouts • A drunk sardar fails from 3rd floor. People gather around & ask: “Sardar ji ki hoya?” He said”pata nahin main v hune aya haan”!!!

*Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks “kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?” (Why do you take these things with you?).
Sardarji replies “Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun” (If the stupid train comes late, I will die of hunger!)

*Sardarji and Jurassic Park
This sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him “kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai” (What Sardarji? Are you afraid of the cinema?).Sardarji replies “Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata “( I am an intelligent man, I know it is a movie, but does that animal know?)

*Sardar1:-Marte Waqt Aadmi Ko Kya Dena Chahiye?
Sardar2:-Birla cement
Sardar1:-Kyun?
Sardar2:- Kyunki Is Cement Mein Jaan Hain

*Once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone
says “Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon”. The other sardar replies
“Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon se !”

*Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, ‘Aap ke
paas color TV hai kya?’
‘Haan’ replies shopowner.
Santa Singh says, ‘Ek hara vala dena!’

*Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab.
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar”.

*Lawyer to Sardar: “Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke…… ”
Sardar :”Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!”

sardarjokes

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