Dale needs a torch light.

Dale and this transvestite he met at Zouk started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.

After 15 minutes of this, Dale finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight."

The transvestite says, "So do I. You've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

Dale Goes to the Doctor. =)

My friend Dale came into his doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I did it no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mr Dale. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."

Next week an upset Dale marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm doing it just as much, but now it smells terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Calm down, Dale," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!"

Teaching a Bunch of Hooligans.

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny, Pat?"

"I just saw one of your garters!"

"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days!"

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny, Billy?"

"I just saw both of your garters!"

Again, she yells, "Get out of my classroom! This time the punishment is more severe, I don't want to see you for three weeks!"

Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asks.

"From what I just saw, my school days are over!"

Have a good laugh!!!

A Very Smart Dog.

A man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dog along for company. One day the dog starts chasing butterflies and before long he discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.

The dog thinks, "Boy oh, I'm in deep s**t ." Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly, "Man, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew", says the leopard. "That was close. That dog nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dog saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The cat is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."

Now the dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks," What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn't seen them yet. And just when they get close enough to hear, the dog says, "Where's that monkey. I just can never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard, and he's still not back!!"

Dedikasi.. =)

Only in Malaysia. =P

Did you know...

A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue!

Dale on a Plane to Atlanta.

A gentleman... ok lets call him Dale - was on a flight to Atlanta had a serious problem. He had made several attempts to get into the men’s restroom, but found it to be occupied. The stewardess noticed that he was walking funny, taking small steps, and had a look of pain and anxiety on his face. “Sir,” she said, “the ladies’ restroom is unoccupied. You may use it if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall.”

Dale was about to poop, and would have promised anything, so he agreed to her terms. The relief was pure joy, and as he sat there, savoring the feeling he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Three white buttons were identified by the letters: “WW”, “WA”, and “PP”, and there was one red button labeled “ATR.”

Who would really know if he touched them? He couldn’t just sit there and resist a challenge like this, so he pushed the “WW” button. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. Such a nice feeling came over him. The men’s restroom didn’t have nice things like this.

Anticipating even greater pleasure, Dale then pressed the “WA” button. Warm air replaced the warm water, wafting and swirling about, gently drying his underside. He knew what he was going to do when the warm air stopped, and without hesitation, he pressed the “PP” button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom, adding a fragrant scent of spring flowers to his unbelievable pleasure.

The ladies’ room was far more than a restroom; it was a place of tender, loving pleasure! He could hardly wait for the powder puff to quit. When it did, he pushed what he knew was going to be the ultimate joy.

He knew he was in the hospital as soon as he opened his eyes. A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face. ”What happened? How did I get here? The last thing I remember, I was in the ladies’ restroom on a flight to Atlanta!”

“You pushed one too many buttons,” replied the nurse, as her smirk expanded to a grin. “That last button marked “ATR” is an automatic tampon remover. Your penis is under your pillow.”

Random Jokes.

Wingz and his Matchbox company. =)

My friend Wingz is a very enterprising guy. I mean, he is such an entrepreneur, he owns many different businesses - and he is also a photographer and basically, he does many many things.

He owns a hair saloon... I dunno if its dodgy or not, or whether the shop offers 'extra happy ending services'.. LOL.

But you do know he is very diversified, and he even has a building in Hong Kong.

Recently, he started a matchbox company, making matches... to market the products, he decided to put images of his favourite sex positions... n here are the pictures...

See... one for every single day of the week!!! =)

Kenny & Aaron goes to Karaoke...

One evening, my this friend Kenny... he love to sing karaoke wan... and this other karaoke fan friend, Aaron (he's also the KL parking guy) went to this dodgy looking place, look a bit like brothel wan... but got karaoke tv... and requested the DJ to play the song "Ah Cheng Buey Lo Ti" (Ah Cheng buys bread). The DJ there... local guy, told them that they only played English songs and asked them to request another song.

Kenny and Aaron were upset and complained to the manager that the DJ was insulting them. After many hours of calming them down, the manager found out they were actually requesting the Righteous Brothers' song, "Unchained Melody".

Dale & Jerine solve jigsaw puzzle...

Dale, now the retired sailor.

I got this two friends ar... one Ah Beng by the name of Dale, and then this Ah Lian, by the name of Jerine... anyways, here's a little story of them... =) After Dale discovered India and America - he go back and settle down in KL.

Jerine, the Ah Lian. =)

One day, Jerine called Dale over the telephone.

Jerine: "Dale ah Dale, I can't get my new jig saw puzzle fixed, mah-chiam all the edges cannot fix together, leh."

Dale: " Jig saw puzzle what picture, ha?"

Jerine: " The box show a big rooster, ".

Dale: "Okay, lah, okay, lah. I come over to hepchu, lah."

Dale arrives at Jerine's place, where she happily leads him to the kitchen table where the jigsaw puzzle is. Dale examines the puzzle and says, " Kan ni na, put back the corn flakes into the box, lah."

Kellogg's Corn Flakes. =)

How Dale Discovered America. =)

Dale the sailor. =)

A long time ago, my friend ar... this guy called Dale found himself as a sailor on board an explorer's ship, whose captain is another of my friend, called Wingz. One day, in the crow's nest, he spotted an uncharted island. He quickly scurried down, and knocked on the captain's door.

"Eh, Captain Wingz!" he said eagerly. "There got new island, leh! What should we call it?"

However, Captain Wingz was at the time making love to a passenger, who was in the throes of passion.

Dale heard the voice of the passenger to the Captain Wingz, not very clear cos sound very rough and sound very guy-ish wan... but it sounded like... "Put it in, dear! In, dear! In, dear!"

And thus, India got its name.

Then sometime later... One day, the crew spotted a new continent. Dale was below decks, when Captain Wingz summoned the crew on deck. As Wingz asked, "What shall we name this new world?".....

Dale scrambled up and said in Cantonese, "Hai mee-eh leh ka?" ("What's happening?")

And thus, America got its name.

Errr.... Translation Gone Wrong. =) LOL.

SO.... is it a sales girl wanted? Or a penjual gadis? =)

Cute little babies...

Baby platypus... =)

Newborn moles...

Hedgehogs!

This one... is a baby bat!

...and this is a baby kangaroo!!! =P

Why Indian Films Don't Win Oscars?

Our hero Balakrishna and his brother were captured by the baddies and they tied Balakrishna onto a chair...Those idiots didnt know that Balakrishna cannot be stopped by a simple chair...

Here is our hero's brother...The baddies tied him up too and fixed a time-bomb across his stomach...The bomb looks more like a pack of sausage rolls....

Balakrishna sees some bullet shells lying on the floor...This means that the baddies had a gun...But they decided to use a time-bomb to give the 'finishing touch'...This is what i call 'Innovative Thinking'.

The shells triggered Balakrishna's brain (if any) and suddenly he has an idea...He throws himself onto the floor and starts moving towards the bullet shells. Finally, he manages to reach the shells...He picks up a shell with his mouth as if it is Kappalandi...The viewers have no idea what the hell he is up to. He concentrates with the shell between his teeth...Look at the sweat on his face...Gives an impression of how hard he is concentrating...With all his strength, he spits the bullet shell towards the bomb.

The shell flies like a bullet through the air...Credit goes to Balakrishna here...He has the ability to make a shell work like a bullet...He can be a good asset to the Indian army...The shell reaches the time-bomb and hits exactly the green button!!...The time-bomb gets switched off!!...Balakrishna saves himself and his brother!!...

Wahhhh!!!! DAMN DRAMATIC Weiii!!! Damn kua cheong too!!!!!

Damn Funny Pic!!!

Hehehe.... I guess this is the best way to carry the tyres on a motorbike...

EXCLUSIVE BLOWJOB VIDEOS!

How about some blowjob action?



and how about some.... Extra large paper?

Random Joke - The Contractor of the Year.

Here are some real funny pictures from a little forwarded email that I received earlier today. The name of email was perfectly titled as 'Contractor Of The Year'.. anyways, here they are. Have a good laugh and enjoy the weekend!

I wonder what will happen when a train passes through...

Watch your head.. low headroom!

No Entry!

Which came first? Hahaha...

A driveway only for 4WDs!

Enjoy your weekend!

Manchester United, on the Turkish Airlines. =)

Hahahaha this is damn funny... go watch it!!! =P

Bra Removal 101.

Errr... remember, do not try this at home.
I mean, you could... but make sure you have consent first ya. =)