Fun with church catalogs

Most catalogs have goofy pictures from time to time. Church catalogs seem especially prone to the this phenomenon. Here are some of my favorites, with fitting captions. Perhaps you can come up with captions of your own.


1. "Oh, it's true! I once consecrated a wafer THIS BIG."


2. "See Father Bob, it's right there like I told you. Isaiah 16:1, 'Wherefore my bowels shall sound like a harp'."


3. "Look, there's no way I'm playing that."


4. "Another kick-@$$ sermon! That's a four month winning streak now."


5. "Pull yourself together, Ted. I can't sing this duet by myself."


6. "If you don't give me those sleeves back, I'm gonna pound you."


7. "Look at that finger. What a finger!"


8. "If you think that's awkward, just wait till father starts to show off his finger."


9. "You gotta question? You ask the cuff link."


10. "What? You never seen a guy wearin' a big blue poncho with cartoon candles on it before?"


11. "Behold the spiritual excellencies of mint . . . all mint."


12. "Where did the missal go?"


13. "Not one step closer, Roger. You keep your distance till Christmas."


14. "Does the bishop know about this?"